The Door

By Wendy Lee

October 2, 2016

It is like how poet and philosopher, Mark Nepo, describes it. I walked through a door, and when I went to leave, the door was no longer there.

My life changed in a divine, unplanned, ordinary moment.

The eternal legacy is in its infancy, but the beauty is in recognizing such a change is occurring. It will be fascinating to see where this journey takes me.

Our life changes every minute, every day in moments we simply don’t notice. Often the changes are small and insignificant, and as singular changes, unimportant. But when stacked on top of each other, our trajectory is altered.

What if, though, we noticed those bigger moments of change? What if we actually immersed ourselves in those moments as they were happening and listened to all of the lessons? Wouldn’t that be a magnificent thing?

On a gorgeous fall day, we climbed the hill and wandered into the charming country pub, in search of food. When I crossed the threshold, the door behind me closed.

Forever.

I didn’t realize it immediately. It took me a few days.

How did such diverse, yet connected souls cross paths in a country pub in England?

It may have been nothing to all of them, just everyday ordinary encounters. Yet it was everything to me. The course of my life has been altered in a way I do not yet understand, but I am immersing myself in processing it.

Was what transpired in those handful of days the important part of the story? Or is it what it opened up in me the most striking?

Both, perhaps.

On the surface, it was days and nights of making new friends, hundreds of laughs, wonderful food, music both recorded and live, writing, listening, and both silly and meaningful conversations. While I cherish all of that, it was the lessons I learned during those days that are reshaping and redirecting my life.

Won’t it be interesting to find out what it becomes?

To be certain, I wasn’t looking for lessons or life altering experiences. I was simply hungry, and thought we were quite fortunate to have found such a welcoming place with the most fun people.  I do so love authentic experiences and thought it wonderful to be in the middle of one.  I had no expectations otherwise.

What happened has knocked me over, something out of left field, in the most amazing way.

My only regret is that at the end of the last night, I had to leave rather abruptly.  I found a good reason to excuse myself, but I was becoming so emotional that I was about to burst into tears in the midst of the most fun and true gathering. I am simply terrible at goodbyes.

What I learned in those days is deeply personal and not easily articulated. It starts with the smallest of things, like the way everyone interacted with each other. No televisions, no smartphones. It was just conversation and laughter. Everyone talked to everyone else. As such, we met some incredible people and shared enormous fun. Maybe it was a cultural thing, maybe that is what happens in a country pub, or perhaps that is what happens in that particular country pub because that is the type of atmosphere that has been created.

In my own life, it provides a lesson for a life I aspire to have. I don’t know how to get there, but I am searching.

Another lesson was straightforward. One afternoon, I sat in the pub, music playing in the background, windows open with a crisp breeze blowing in, with my new friend across the table, as I wrote a chapter of a story that has been floating around in my head. I felt completely comfortable, inspired, open and free. The air, the room, the feeling was altogether right. I need to be in that type of space more often. The creativity and expression were flowing unobstructed.  I wanted to capture that feeling forever.

The other lessons I learned at that country pub are a lot more complex.

My poor new friend, I interrogated him with question after question about his life and how he got to be the proprietor of a pub in England. I think I did it because my time there was limited and I knew there was a remarkable story behind his journey. I felt almost compelled, being guided by outside forces, to learn all that I could. How else can I explain that I made a new friend and a few days later I am asking him about his biggest fears and life changing moments? Who does that?

Me, obviously.

I am no stranger to deep, meaningful conversation. I am a deep thinker, which can be off-putting to some. I can talk about surface stuff all day long, but I value connection through knowing what is a little deeper in someone’s soul.

What I learned through my inquisition, though, has helped give me a nudge at a time when I have felt completely stuck.

It was perspective.

It was inspiration.

It was confidence.

I won’t share his story here, for it was between those of us in the conversations. Here is what I learned about me, though.

I have been looking to live a different life, but haven’t been reaching far enough. Just moving to a new town to make my current job easier isn’t the answer. I would just be going back, in a way, to a life I used to live. That life served its purpose well, but it no longer serves me.

I’ve been letting fear rule my life. I have been fearful of not having money. I have been fearful of trying something completely new and failing at it. I have been fearful of what people will think of me if I take my life in an unexpected direction. I have been afraid of letting go of everything my life currently is. And I feel such an obligation to the “shoulds” of life.

What I learned from my new friend is that it is possible to walk away from the corporate trap and to follow your passions. I learned that someone can easily survive selling or giving away all of their possessions. I learned the joy but also the hard work in following your dreams. I learned that you never get the big rewards if you aren’t willing to risk everything.  I learned strength and determination in the face adversity.

The truth is, I have faced adversity so difficult that most do not know about, yet I have always survived and thrived.  So despite the fears that have stopped me recently, and most of my life, I also know that I have the strength to overcome them. I just needed a little inspiration found in a remarkable person in a pub in another country.

Kismet.

The lessons went on. The creativity, the vulnerability, the depth, the courage, the drive, and passion, and the enormous humor. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. At the core of it, was someone unabashedly unafraid to be himself and to express himself creatively in many ways.

The world is in great need of more authentic people like that.

It was a gift, a complete treasure. When I realized what was occurring, I became a sponge, soaking up as much as possible from the moment, knowing the moment would be up too soon.

It is quite possible that that is the only moment I will get with my new friend or in Bath, U.K.

But it changed me.

Here is what I know now, today. I am an emotional, deep person, full of passion and curiosity and love so great that I can’t always contain it. I am sometimes too much, even for me. I often tell people that I wouldn’t wish me on anyone. But that is not exactly true, for I feel I have much to give this world. What I found rather unexpectedly on my dream vacation was a light shone on my current path, indicating I have veered a little too far off course.

I don’t know the way, yet, so must figure that part out. I do know that I have to give up this corporate merry-go-round. While it allows me a comfortable lifestyle, it doesn’t provide me a worthwhile life.

Put clearly, I desire to live a simple and meaningful life, one where I am able to follow my passions and to help others. One where connection is core. For me, this type of life in imperative and I can’t waste any more time.

As for the pub and all of its wonderful people, I am grateful for all of the lessons.  I am grateful for the time and authenticity of everyone I met. I am grateful for the openness. I am grateful for the experience.  I am especially grateful for the humor.

I will never forget it.

My path may not lead me back to Bath, U.K., but who knows, maybe it will.  In fact, I truly hope it will.  I am open to whatever is about to come, as long as I can live my life on purpose.

The rest is up to me.

With Love,

Wendy